Sexual Assault Trauma
Sexual assault is a deeply violating experience that can impact the body, mind, and nervous system long after the event has ended. Many survivors struggle not only with what happened, but with the confusion, shame, and self-blame that often follow.
If you’ve experienced sexual assault, what happened to you was not your fault - regardless of whether you froze, didn’t fight back, felt confused, were intoxicated, knew the person, or questioned yourself afterward. These responses are not signs of weakness, they are innate survival responses, deeply wired into our nervous system.
One of the most common responses during sexual assault is freeze. When the nervous system senses overwhelming danger and fighting or escaping isn’t possible, the body may become immobilized. This can look like being unable to move, speak, or resist, feeling numb or disconnected, or going into shock.
Many survivors carry deep shame about freezing and ask themselves, “Why didn’t I do something?” or “Why didn’t I stop it?” Freeze is not consent. Freeze is not compliance. Freeze is not failure. It is the nervous system doing exactly what it is designed to do to protect you in the face of threat.
Many survivors also carry persistent self-blame, often telling themselves things like “I shouldn’t have been there - why did I put myself in this situation?,” “I should have trusted my gut”, “I should have seen it coming.” Trauma experts remind us that this is not a sign of moral failing, poor judgment, or weakness - it’s a nervous system pattern rooted in survival and adaptation.
Dr. Peter Levine, in his work on somatic trauma healing (Waking the Tiger, In an Unspoken Voice), describes how overwhelming experiences can disconnect survivors from the body’s innate instincts, including intuition and the felt sense of safety. Trauma can interrupt the ability to accurately read danger signals, making it harder to trust one’s inner wisdom. As a result, people may unconsciously return to situations that feel familiar - even if they are harmful- because the nervous system responds to pattern and survival memory, not logical reasoning.
Dr. Gabor Maté, in The Myth of Normal and When the Body Says No, similarly explains how trauma and chronic stress can distort the internal messages we receive from our bodies and emotions. When someone has repeatedly needed to adapt to unsafe environments, the instinct to protect oneself can become overshadowed by learning coping strategies - such as people-pleasing, suppression of discomfort, or not listening to one’s own needs. These patterns persist not because you are consciously “choosing” them, but because the nervous system is trying to manage threat and preserve connection- even at great personal cost.
These dynamics can lead survivors to engage in self-destructive behaviors or to mistrust their own intuition. This isn’t a character flaw- it’s trauma’s imprint on the body and nervous system, and it can be healed through safety-based somatic and relational work that restores self-trust and agency.
Shame often develops not because of what happened, but because survivors were never taught how trauma responses actually work. Understanding freeze through a nervous system lens can help soften self-blame and begin the process of self-compassion.
Sexual assault is any sexual experience that occurs without clear, voluntary, and informed consent. Consent must be freely given - without pressure, manipulation, fear, or coercion - and it can be withdrawn at any time. When someone is underage, asleep, intoxicated, or emotionally manipulated, they cannot give consent.
Sexual assault is about power and control, not desire. It often involves someone the survivor knows, which can make the aftermath even more complex and painful to process.
Survivors of sexual assault may experience a wide range of emotional, physical, and relational symptoms including:
Anxiety or panic attacks
Depression or numbness
Shame, guilt, or self-blame
Dissociation or feeling disconnected from the body
Difficulty trusting others or feeling safe in relationships
Hypervigilance or feeling constantly on edge
Flashbacks, intrusive memories, or nightmares
Sexual difficulties or discomfort in the body
A sense of being “stuck” or frozen
These responses are not signs that something is wrong with you - they are signals that your nervous system is still trying to protect you.
Healing from sexual assault is not about forcing yourself to “move on” or relive the experience before you’r ready. Trauma-informed therapy focuses on restoring safety, choice, and agency, and helping the nervous system learn that danger has passed.
Somatic and trauma-focused approaches work gently with the body to support regulation, reduce shame, and reconnect you with your internal sense of safety - at your own pace, and on your own terms.
Sources:
Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma; Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice
Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; Maté, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture